“THE GOAL OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION”

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

Matthew 18:15

In today's culture, people tend to broadcast their feelings, including their frustrations. So, everyone in their social sphere becomes in the know. While doing so does help one vent his emotions, this is exactly what the Bible tells us not to do.

In our previous blog, we learned that if the goal is to resolve a dispute, we have to set aside our urge to defend ourselves and acknowledge our faults. In today’s release, we will bring this series to a close.

Keep it as private as possible.

Today’s verse shows the Lord’s instructions on dealing with offenses within the church, specifically from the vantage point of the believer against whom the sin is committed. The Christian thing to do is present the issue to the sinning brother privately, i.e. “show him his fault.” The plan is not to point out his error, but to win him over. As such, the confronting brother should deliver the message with true humility and love.

This verse applies to conflict management in today’s church. The objective is not to advertise the problem, but on the contrary, you want it made known to as few people as possible. To achieve this, you must go to the individual himself and not to others. And don’t forget that your purpose is to be reconciled with the person, not to condemn him.

So, choose your words carefully and speak the truth in love. Talk about the problem in particular and don’t go beyond it. Try your best to not attack the person. This will give them a better chance of explaining themselves, and if they see that they are at fault, they just might ask for forgiveness.

Ideally, try to keep the matter between the two of you and avoid dragging other people into the issue. The only exception is perhaps if the person refuses to be reconciled with you—that is a completely different topic.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution is best done when we humble ourselves and prayerfully ask God for wisdom. Let’s not forget that our goal is to restore relationships, not create further damage. Understand that God values our relationships. Maintaining a good relationship with one another is the fulfillment of the second part of the great commandment: you should love your neighbor as yourself.

Pursue the Savior today!