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“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

Matthew 7:1-2

It is said that when we point a finger at someone, we're actually pointing four at ourselves.

In our previous blog, we learned that Christians are to exercise restraint and learn to listen more. Here’s our second tip on dealing with conflict in a church setting:

Examine your involvement.

It’s a whole lot easier to lay a guilt trip on others than to own up to our own mistakes. In today’s passage, Jesus prohibits one kind of judging but approves a different kind. What does he mean? He’s telling us that condemning others for their faults is a failure to show mercy. From another angle, judging someone while you are guilty of the same sin is simply hypocrisy.

To set the record straight, Jesus is not saying that we should not judge at all. In fact, in John 7:24, He declares that we must be careful to make the right judgments instead of judging others by mere external appearances. Jesus is telling His disciples to avoid being judgmental and hypercritical. Those who do so will in turn be judged, not by people, but by God Himself. Why? Because anyone who gives such a judgment essentially takes God’s place.

How does this principle apply to our lesson? We have to do a heart check and see if we have any part in the conflict. Sometimes, we get so assiduous in judging other people’s flaws that we fail to see our own. Doesn’t that make us hypocrites? Is it possible that we contributed to the problem, and that we need to admit our mistakes and acknowledge that we are wrong? Being able to do this is a step toward conflict resolution. But we must be humble enough to admit we’re at fault.

I know that it’s easier to point fingers than to own up to one’s guilt. But if our goal is to resolve a dispute, we have to set aside the urge to defend ourselves and acknowledge our failure.

And even when we feel like we have no part in wrongdoing, it wouldn’t hurt to be meek and deferential. If we look at biblical heroes like Daniel and Nehemiah, we will see that they counted themselves as part of Israel’s guilt. While they could have washed their hands and asserted their righteousness, they held themselves accountable instead.

Do we have the humility to assess ourselves and recognize our faults?

Pursue the Savior today!